You gave me hope that, with persistence and drive (and a lot of hard work), this IS going to work. Thanks, Glenn. You've done a wonderful job. — Susan S
Sharing your stories is such a personal thing, exposing so much of your raw self and I appreciate that. Thank You so much for being so open. — Shele
Thanks for sharing your experience with people like myself It sure was an inspiration to me and I feel I have gained much knowledge from you that will maybe smooth over some of the speed bumps I am about to encounter. — Dave M
Through Thick and Thin #22 (May 28, 2003)
Off the Rack
or From 4X to XL
Seven months after my Weight Loss Surgery (WLS), and with great anxiety and dread, I embarked on my first bona fide post-op clothes shopping trip. I had repeatedly postponed what has always been a traumatic exercise in frustration and public humiliation.
As a result, my old 4X shirts, with the excess fabric stuffed into the back center of my pants, looked like a parachute trailing behind me and threatened to carry me airborne in a stiff breeze. My partner, Kari, had picked up a few pair of 2X jeans and slacks a few months back, but they were quickly becoming as baggy and unattractive as my shirts. Forget about my old suits and sport coats: I had to give up my fantasy of my tailor customizing them to fit my increasingly svelte body. “They're just too big” he said. After losing so much weight and girth, I just couldn't make do with my old clothes any longer. So, reluctantly, I agreed to shop.
What an amazing difference 115 lost pounds make! Contrary to my fears, my shopping excursion proved to be fun, exciting, inspirational and successful, reinforcing my resolve and thrilling my heart. At thrift shops and Old Navy alike, I was re-introduced to three of the sweetest words in the world: "off the rack"!
1x shirts fit me like a glove. XL sport coats did too. As did shorts, bathing suits and everything else I needed for an upcoming two-week snorkeling, fishing and family trip to the Bahamas to celebrate my daughter's graduation from college. (Maybe my chest is a little bit puffed up from my papa's pride, but I know that while the pride will remain, the puff will fade.) My new pant size, reflecting 17” off my waist and 14.5” off my hips, has shrunk from a 56 to a (relatively) trim 42.
As we shopped, and right in front of Kari's eyes, I transformed from a hurt little boy ashamed of his body every time he shopped into a “normal sized” man who enjoyed looking at himself in the mirror and admired the reflection back.
I am becoming one of “them” Æ those normal-sized people who, on some level, I have always both envied and despised. Recently, I shared lunch with a friend and was astounded to learn that only 30 pounds separate us. I'm starting to get it that within one year of my surgery, I will be one of those “average-sized” folk.
Today I weigh about what I did as a young man when I was married a quarter-century ago. What amazes me is the difference between how I felt about my body and appearance then and now. The weights are about the same, but my self-perception has changed dramatically.Then, at 240 pounds, I felt fat, gross, repulsive, sluggish, out of shape, and full of self-blame and self-shame. Today, at just a hair under 240 pounds, and about 60 pounds from my goal weight, I feel trim, fit, attractive, athletic, energetic, bursting with self-esteem, self-pride, and satisfaction. If I fear anything, it's becoming what I also have always despised: a fashion plate who flaunts it because he has it. My weight is the same, but viva la difference in my attitude and perception!
So last weekend, at a wonderful local music festival, I donned my new wardrobe and walked with a light spirit and a prance in my step. I drank in all of the compliments, flirtations, and even all the blank looks of non-recognition on the faces of those who hadn't seen me since my WLS.
I'll tell you the truth: when I was still morbidly obese, I told myself the story that I didn't really care how I looked or what others thought. My shopping expedition, new wardrobe and public display of my new body now convince me otherwise. I LIKE LOOKING GOOD! And that redoubles my commitment and my resolve to reach my goal and become so normal and average in appearance that I will never again have to deal with those accusatory looks and cruel comments. I'll never forget what it felt like to be fat, and my heart and spirit will always reach out to others struggling with obesity -- but I'll enjoy being thin.
Glenn
Glenn Goldberg, J.D., R.C. is a Writer, Coach, Counselor and Mediator. He has lost about 110 pounds in his first 6 months after his Weight Loss Surgery in October, 2002.
Through Thick
What an amazing difference 115 lost pounds make! Contrary to my fears, my shopping excursion proved to be fun, exciting, inspirational and successful, reinforcing my resolve and thrilling my heart. At thrift shops and Old Navy alike, I was re-introduced to three of the sweetest words in the world: "off the rack"!