It's such a blessing to walk this path together with people who truly understand.
— Lenay

I just cant believe how much you think like me. It's very strange to have someone echo your thoughts like that. Thanks for sharing yourself with me.
— Mike

I have to applaud you for being so open and honest. You are very helpful.
— Sue

Through Thick and Thin #47 (July 30, 2004)

The Gift of WLS Support Groups

Last night was the first time in a while that I’ve been able to attend the local Weight Loss Surgery Support Group I co-founded with a colleague soon after my own surgery. I’m so glad that I went. It was gratifying to see how the group has grown, diversified and matured during my absence. It was thrilling to witness the transformation of all these Big-time Losers who had been pre-op or early post-op the last time I saw them. One after another, they shared their stories, challenges, experience, strength and hope, which is, of course, what support groups are all about.

My re-connection with my WLS Support Group reminded me what a precious gift these gatherings can be. When I helped start this group, there was no other place in our isolated rural community to meet people considering the surgery, struggling with its aftermath, or celebrating their successes. Founding the group was initially a self-serving act, i.e. I craved and needed face to face access to the pioneers who had walked the path, and blazed the trail, for the rest of us to follow. I must have brought 25 questions to the first meeting – and I left with most of them answered. More importantly, I left with the validation and confidence that I too could and would use the WLS toolkit to get healthy, live long and prosper.

I’m now more than 20 months out from my surgery. I attended the Support Group faithfully for my first year post-op, and then, having reached my weight loss goals and harvesting the energy burst I experienced in my slimmed down body, I stopped going.

At the meeting, however, I was powerfully reminded of all of the OTHER reasons to attend, besides meeting my own needs – like being there for others, just like so many veterans were there for me in my time of need. And…

• Like sharing proven, practical tips and strategies for dealing with the various problems that test and frustrate newbies.
• Like remembering where I used to be, how far I’ve come, and how important it is to keep working my food and exercise programs so that I never, ever take a step back toward the morbid obesity that tortured my body and soul.
• And like feeling again the very special and unique bonds that WLSers feel and enjoy with each other.

Our discussions were easy and comfortable, and our laughter flowed like the fast-moving stream near my home. We laughed uproariously about things that only a group of fat people or formerly fat people would “get” – like the challenges we experience(d) with various bodily functions. When some of the women in the group started complaining (and laughing) about how tough it can be for fat women at intimate times, we men regaled the group with our own counterpoint stories of tough times and tougher acts -- like finding our genitals under the folds of fat. You either had to be there, or had to be a WLSer, to know how outrageous we got and how wonderful it felt.

Everyone was encouraged, acknowledged, applauded and heard. No one was put down, excluded, disrespected, ignored or abandoned. It was clear that everyone was there to help and to support. Which is why WLS Support Groups are such a blessing and gift for so many of us.

Glenn Goldberg, VBG 10.24.02, 360/178

Copyright, © 2003, Glenn Goldberg. All rights reserved.
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