 |
|
|
Through Thick and Thin #6 (September 11, 2002) My Brothers and Sisters of the Scale: What Unites Us, What Divides UsWe are charter members of a very special, if not particularly exclusive, club: the community of people whose life experience has been significantly shaped by our struggles with our weight. In recent weeks, as I've linked up via the web with other people considering, planning or surviving weight loss surgery, I've been struck and moved by the instant rapport, understanding, empathy, acceptance and intimate connection I've experienced with so many of these strangers. For me, the shared experience of our obesity has transcended differences in gender, race, ethnicity, religion, age, lifestyle, geography, education, profession or politics.  By sharing my thoughts and feelings through my website, and by engaging in dialogue with those who have responded, I have developed some very powerful bonds with people I've never met, and whose lives I don't know except in this one respect. And yet I feel like I've known some of my new correspondents all of my life! I find it to be at once thrilling and terribly sad that they understand me, on so many levels, so much more truly and deeply than my parents ever knew me. Or than my family and lifelong friends may understand at least this aspect of my existence. Because we've walked a long and painful path in each other's shoes, and we've viewed our journeys through shared lenses. There is an instantaneous recognition and identification within our fellowship. We've experienced so many of the same feelings, challenges, reactions, humiliations, exclusions, discomforts and trials. And I do perceive a depth of feelings, a level of spiritual development and evolved consciousness, in so many of the people that I've encountered. I believe that this is a product of the traumas we've survived. What hasn't destroyed us has deepened us. Even in the brief time we've related and interacted, I have derived valuable information and advice, and deep and powerful support and emotional sustenance, from these Sisters and Brothers of the Scale. I treasure our connections even more as I head into my surgery and recuperation. I know that having these folks on my team will help me get through the tough times, and otherwise promote my successful WLS. I'm profoundly grateful to be a part of this community. And at the same time, I'm reminded that obesity doesn't automatically bestow wisdom, kindness, openness and awareness upon every soul it touches. It would appear that struggling with weight doesn't guarantee that a person will evidence a higher level of consciousness and compassion. My early ventures into the wacky world of weight loss surgery email groups and bulletin boards have reminded me that some of the members our sorority and fraternity demonstrate attitudes and behaviors that puzzle and frustrate and disturb me outside of our circle. Mainly this: what seems to be a compulsive, obsessive need to divide people into categories of "us" and "them", and to judge and diminish those who are labeled as "the others". I've experienced people devolving into their own form of tribalism by drawing artificial distinctions and boundaries between proponents or veterans or opponents of one kind of WLS versus another. I've experienced people defensive and skeptical and wary of any newcomer or perceived outsider wandering into their group. And I guess that's just the human condition, although writing this today, on the first anniversary of 9/11, this observation saddens me greatly. Because what unites us is so much more powerful than what separates us. Because what we share is so much more profound than how we differ. Because what our world needs now is inclusion, not division. And as in the world, so in our corner of it. GlennClick here to read another newsletter. Copyright, © 2003, Glenn Goldberg. All rights reserved.
|
Through Thick
